i’m ODing on OD

i still can’t get over how going away for a few days and learning about Organizational Development has got my head filled with all these great ideas. well actually, not so filled. i did put them down on paper so as not to get stuck in the attic. but to tell the truth, although i do love paper, i’m not such a great fan of keeping stuff there. i mean, paper gets lost! it gets tossed around in the wind, it gets wet, it inadvertently ends up in the trash bin, it gets crumpled, you get the drift.

no wonder our perception of beauty is distorted

While fooling around on Digg today, I came accross something really amazing. And I found myself agreeing with someone who posted on the discussion forums over there: “Why can’t everyone see this?” So here I am doing my little part.

Dove’s take on beauty here. Now that’s what you call corporate social responsibility.

another sem ends

One of the greatest ways to end a sem is to throw a party as a last big hurrah, and that is what we just did. Thanks to Kylee, who is 17 today, and who treated all of us to 10 boxes of Cheesy Volcano pizzas from Pizza Hut (I swear, I’m probably not eating another pizza for a whole month). The party was a blast, we started off eating and playing cards, and then we had a few rounds of Werewolf or Cry Wolf or whatever that game is called. Then someone had the great idea of playing Marco Polo (in which the It has to grope around blindfolded to catch someone) which was pretty fun. We got a lot of footage that was pretty incriminating. Then we all moved outside where we just talked around and took more pictures and then everyone started drifting off at around 12. A few of us stayed behind and played I’ve Never and talked our hearts out, but I’m not allowed to tell anyone anything that happened so just content yourselves on knowing that we talked about a *lot*.

Now I really don’t have anything to worry about, save for my last paper for Leadership and Strategy. May lightning fall on people who promise interviews and then not give them after all. I have to bullshit my way through this thing instead. But oh well, shit happens. At least I had fun!

fancy fonts?

this is going to be the first post in my collection of essentials for the [student techie], [techie student], student, whatever…

1. A PDF converter

So you’ve drummed out the last few words on your laptop and your paper is ready to go. You save the file to your USB, and hand it to the guy at the counter for printing. He rudely asks you what file to open and then *gasp* the cover page comes up all wrong! The beatiful fonts you were sure would impress your Literature professor don’t show up!

This happens because word-processing applications save only the font information, and not the font itself. Meaning, if the document specifies “Kirsten ITC” and does not find it on the computer it will not be able to display your text correctly. You could always carry around all the fonts you use on your USB but that would be a hassle, and the people waiting behind you while the guy copies your fonts won’t be happy.

For this very reason [and many others], the Portable Document Format was created. Aside from the fact that it is very convenient to carry around (it makes your files smaller), and that it is compatible in any computer (with a PDF reader), it stores your fancy fonts so that what you see is what you print!

One drawback to all of this is that you can’t edit files in *.pdf format, but then, you’ll have edited your paper by the time you bring it to school, wouldn’t you?

The OpenOffice.org suite comes with a “Save to pdf” function. For other stuff, you can search for a “free pdf converter” over at Google and you’re bound to find something. I personally use OpenOffice.org so I’m not very familiar with how reliable these things are. If you’re not willing to try something potentially useless, then switch to OpenOffice.org too!

on Internet and the Philippines

I just love it when I learn something new from assigned school work. Here’s a valuable gem I realized from reading A Short History of Nearly Everything for Science and Society.

More than changing the way we live life, science has changed the way we look at life. This is what has allowed our race to prosper. Not simply that our ancestors discovered fire. Our ancestors realized the implication of having fire, and used it to their advantage.

This is really an important point to keep in mind as we Filipinos revel in our being technologically unignorant. We boast of being the text capital of the world and of having an internet cafe on every street corner. Enter any one of these, though, and majority of the users will be gaming, the rest logged on to social networking sites and chatting. And damn me if they were chatting about significant issues and current events instead of the latest telenovela or whatnot.

Our country’s communications infrastructure is very well established. Imagine what an impact on literacy it would make if every hour we spent learning about the latest [mis]adventures of our favorite actors and actressess could be spent learning about something at least more important, like understanding how economy works, for example. Instead of chatting with foreigners to try to seduce them as an easy way out of the Philippines, why not chat with others about what needs to be done here instead, and with this new knowledge be empowered to effect change in our communities?

There really is no point in having technology if we do not use it to advance our ideas and our intellect. It is like being given a Cray supercomputer and using it as a simple calculator. It is as good as if we do not have science at all. The main point of technology making our life easier is so that we would have more time to dedicate to more lofty pursuits. Our opportunities are not only abroad, they are right here, everywhere, and we just don’t see it.

If only every other Filipino would realize this, our nation would not be far from greatness.

in the abstract

walang umiiyak na hindi malungkot.
sabi nila
na ang luha ay para lamang sa
kanilang
hindi nakakatunton ng kagandahan.
walang marikit na hindi masaya
at walang
umiiyak na hindi malungkot

no one cries who is not unhappy.
they say
that tears are only for
them who
do not comprehend beauty.
there is no beauty without joy
and there are
no tears without sadness.

a very abstract poem. [in other words, is nonsense].

bury me in her womb

when i die
bring me to where
my forefathers died.
bury me where
my forefathers lie.
bind me to her,
the earth that brought me forth
and let me as
rain to the parched soil
of my motherland.

silent retreat

I wanted to write a poem /
but the words would not come /
Hush, my heart said /
wait for it.

I wanted to write of the sugar /
like copious tears I cried /
like tiny diamonds in the light /
Glittering.

I wanted to write /
the dance of the butterflies /
Yellow wings aflutter /
as around they chase each other.

I wanted to write the beauty of a bruised flower /
Its chaste form violated /
by a bruise on its petals.

stranger

Beautiful stranger,
I know that I know you,
And yet -
The distant look in your eyes
When you gaze my way,
I do not know.

I do not know,
The face you have put on,
Or the beat that your heart plays.
I am sure that I know you,
And yet -
There is no warmth in your embrace,
nor spark of recognition.
You are not she who I once knew.

You are become
but a beautiful stranger.

september 17

I don’t understand why I feel like this today. I just want to be standing in the rain and not think. I want to be stoned and drunk and have nicotine fuck up my brain cells.

I want to not think about life or love or the two long tests I have coming up. I want my life to myself but I can’t stop thinking that I should be living for other people and the thought that I am not happy at all just makes me want to die right now.

Fuck.

–

Ok, to clear things up with my concerned readers, I didn’t really write this post above. *gasp, plagiarism!* Okay, I admit it, I did copy this paragraph from some book. But it’s really one of those cases when you read about something you feel so strongly and you feel that the author could have been writing about you. Something like that.

happy birthday

Ten minutes to go.
I’m still waiting in this unkempt lobby.
The chairs are in disarray
And yesterday’s paper is scattered on the table.

The murky water in the aquarium
Goes sploosh sploosh splash
And arowana unmindful,
It almost transports me
To pristine waterfall -
My reverie is broken.

Five minutes to go.
The whirring of the fan
Keeps me company
As does this lone fly.

The evening chill
Seeps deep into me and my heart shivers.
My skin breaks into bumps
And my hairs stand on end.
When, I ask myself,
Will this end?

And then the church bells chime
And I know it’s time.
12 midnight – I can greet you now.
You will probably receive this text.
Two minutes earlier
Or two minutes later.
Who knows, our watches
May be out of sync.

If that is so,
I ask myself
What then was I waiting for?

—

I wrote this on my mom’s birthday 8 months ago. I was waiting for 12 midnight so I could greet her on the dot. My writing still continues to surprise me.

cut-tharsis

those who would be worshippers,
heed these words:
there is no sweeter catharsis
than that offered in blood
for your god be a jealous god
and nothing appease
but drawings of flesh.
be wary, yet, of the guiles of pain
for he, who serves you,
will be your master
be wary, yes, of he who turns
your wine into water

—

inspired by a recent Guidon article on people who hurt themselves for pleasure.

go

run if you want

i’ll find you when i want to

manna

rain falls lightly
not manna from heaven but -
dark petals, wilted roses;
the bitter aftertaste lingers in the air
long after the last tears
have dried and left their marks:
ravines on a craggy face
ravaged by the storm.

8-6-2-3-6

8-McDo Deliverywhat number are you calling from?

i really would love not having to tell you(insert telephone number here)

sir, your delivery address is (insert address here)

oh, i really like that you know what my address is,but you know, you got it wrongno, it’s not, it’s (insert address here)

so sir may i take your order?

(insert order here)

just to repeat sir, here’s your order:(insert order here)is that right?

actually, it’s not. it’s supposed to be(insert order here)

oh, i’m sorry for that sir

no you don’t sound sorryif only you’d say it because you really mean it

i’m sorry for that sir

didn’t you hear what i just saidno, you’re not sorry

so sir, please expect your order in 30-45 minutesthank you for calling 8-McDo Delivery

no, thank you call centersfor what you’ve done to the service industry

altar boy

he was spending too much time in the confessional,
they started to notice,
spent too much time cleaning up the wilted carnations
that never left the feet of wooden icons.
too much time dusting out the cupboards that held
the ironic white of sullied vestments.
ah, they cooed, how nice, he will become a seminarian!
and parents glad, turned their eyes the other way,
parents happy, never noticed the way he never betrayed
any hint of betrayal, for alas he never knew,
never got to that part of catechism
when reverend father took him aside
and took away his innocence.

one

i miss my old life!

i am so loving my life right now. all this getting tired for something that i know has meaning just makes me feel so fulfilled. there's a lot to be overcome up ahead but i just know i'll make it. and there's so much to do!

like start writing again. i will write again. sooner or later. i promise.

lifeline

thump thump thump
this is still alive
beep beep beep
so long as we do not
settle into a boring line
with no ups and downs
beep beep beep
we are still alive
proof of which is a faint
thump thump thump

classroom

i set my mind free
to wander the halls of this,
prestigious edifice so glorified.
quested through various
corridors and rooms
and questioned the learnings
of your learned men.
set my ears to hear
that which others would not listen to
and thusly bore the fruit
of wonder in wondrous thought.
i set my mind free to fly
but the next quiz came
and shot it down.

summer afternoon

when the weather is lonely
everything looks orange
and even the soft drizzle
comes too hesitantly,
tasting the still air
before hugging the ground
too closely.

when the weather is lonely
everything is deathly silent.
no swish of narra leaves
or falling of fire tree flowers.
time itself seems to grind
to a painstaking stop

but for the furious setting of the sun. 

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